Why I Don't Do Anything

I’ve been spending so much more time lately doing nothing.

I wake up and stare at the ceiling.

And, it’s life changing.

I linger in bed, looking around little by little, letting my body wake up bit by bit. I watch the windows grow brighter as the sun rises. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of a bird going by or a leaf tumbling around.

It’s really a special thing to do - just lie there doing nothing during this special time of day when your mind is naturally a bit quieter and your senses more keenly aware of your surroundings.

(I mean, unless your children are screaming).

(And I experienced those thrilling morning experiences for many years, so now I get to revel in 10minutes of morning nothingness).

But really, how often are you not doing anything? It’s such a habitual reaction these days to fill EVERY gap in our doing-ness with even more doing-ness, by picking up our phones. Meanwhile, nearly every successful creative we know will admit that all of their best ideas came while their mind was wandering, daydreaming in the shower, or they were simply playing.

I had fallen into the habit of keeping my phone by my bedside, so upon waking, I would immediately grab it, read messages, emails and scroll through social media.

I am currently continuing my Yoga studies and part of my self work is to become more curious about the things I do habitually, why I do them, and if they are serving my higher self. I came to the conclusion that there really is no need or burning desire to use my phone first thing in the morning or right before bed, either. I was tempted to believe it was a way for me to “wind down” & “check out” a bit in the evening time. But really, I had started overusing this time. I do enjoying reading and sending messages to loved ones. And there are some things I enjoy seeing on social media after a long day. But after a certain amount of time it turns into a mindless, intention-less endeavor.

And, as for the mornings, immediately picking up my phone puts my nervous system into a reactive state from the get go. It also sets my mind into this drive that “I have to respond to others and take care of this and this and this before I even have a sip of water and shower and remember how important it is to just take care of my body and my deeper sense of self.

By letting my body and senses and mind slowly wake up on their own, I allow my deeper thoughts and desires to emerge and come to the surface more willingly. I can see them more clearly and then respond from such a better head space.

Sometimes, I rush to get dressed and do as much as possible in the morning before the kids wake up. Today, as I lay in bed doing nothing, I imagined how good it would feel to climb into E’s bed with her when she woke up and play for a bit. I could sense that she needed a little extra mommy and me one on one fun time this morning.

We did that when she woke up and it set a really good tone for our morning.

I would have missed out on that intention if I had “get sh*t done” tunnel vision or a multi-tasking mind induced by phone algorithms.

Yes. Doing nothing is so, SO good.

It’s so good.

There’s a prompt in my journal that says:

How will you make space for gratitude today?

And, as someone who practices listening to their intuition as much as possible, I always write down what comes up and out as honestly as possible. And lately, I just keep answering:

Slowing down.

Because isn’t that it? Isn’t that all it takes?

When I slow down, I breath deeper. When I slow down, I pay attention better.

I’m more careful.

I’m more gentle and loving.

Because I actually see things and people for what they are, and not how I’ve contorted them to be in my mind.

I come into my little home office and I sit in my chair and

do nothing.

I look at my plants, one by one, and admire how the light hits each leaf differently, bringing shadows and contrast that calm my core. Sometimes, I get up and rotate them, just to the spot where they start to say to me,

“Here! Like this!”

It’s silly, but I love it.

I love pretending I can hear them speaking to me.

I love remembering that they are alive.

Yes. Slowing down.

Doing nothing.

Remembering the things that are alive.

Giving thanks.

This is it. Really.

That’s all it takes.

—Ok. And. .…. it’s hard... not possible, some days, even. Is it? It probably is, but - programming and years of conditioning- sigh. —

But, the awareness is here and without my phone bedside I’ve bought myself so much more time.

Other things that have helped:

Water color painting. Just sitting for 5 minutes-…just 5 minutes-…and looking at something around me and painting it. Wow. Those 5 minutes give me life and breath and gratitude and more time to do my work afterwards because of how much my headspace shifts.

A typewriter. I’ve been typing on a type writer regularly and I looooove how it forces me to slow down. It’s the most meditative experience.

Tending to my space. I just love my little home office and almost always before I sit and work I walk around the room and move a few things that need some energy shifting and it just does something for me. Most of the things are things I’ve gathered from around the world in this lifetime and I love taking a minute to touch some of them and time travel through the experiences I’ve been so blessed to have had already in this existence.

Oh yea. Doing nothing is so so good.

(I’m so tempted to say, right now, to myself and to you all that I don’t deserve this. And that it’s such a privilege to be able to do nothing. To take away from my own celebration of this. But today, I won’t. Because what I need to give myself most today is the permission to put everything else and everyone aside for five or twenty minutes every morning and every evening to say ‘oh sweet nothingness I need you’).

w. lots and lots of love on this glorious Full Moon morning.

.m.

jaime