A Tree Falls
The old tree
we used to always stop to see
void of leaves
stretching t a l l
& scathed
from toe to top
in animal scratchings
was, now
t O p p le d.
I wonder,
“How long have you been this way?”
Days, weeks, years? …
Has it been years?
Years since I last came in here.
Walking these woods
mind wandering.
In the early days,
free.
Casual dog walkings,
days to my
s.e.l.f.
Just, grab the leash and
go.
.
.
.
Then, with a baby.
((my sweet baby. bundled
and clinging to my chest)).
Planning the when’s and the how’s.
Heavy.
Harder.
Becoming a routine:
Fresh air. Cash’s exercise. Baby’s nap. Mama’s exercise.
Breast feed again and again and again
Go for a walk
Transfer to crib
FAIL
breathe
.
.
.
Next
was when
the tree fell.
Sometime in between baby two and today.
Since then,
these woods seem to wait here
for my woes.
Only once
in a long long while
do I come walk.
When I need to hear the sound of my breath
echoed back at me.
When I need the hawks
to yell at me to look up
and the brook to beckon me
to put down what I am carrying
and feel it’s perfect melody.
.
Why?
Why do I leave it waiting
only for my woes?
.
It’s been such a good few months
and I am grateful.
.
Today felt heavy
And these woods held me
without holding onto my worries.
Next time
I’d like to bring her
the wonder
I once had
that, too
waits for me
somewhere. . .
w. love
.m.